Open Mike #10: Why CEOs and Employees Alike Struggle with Relationships (and How to Improve Them)
My good friend (and professional mentor) has over 20 years of leadership consulting and executive coaching experience — with Fortune 500 companies. One night over dinner, I asked her, “When you coach CEOs, what’s their biggest challenge?” I expected her to rattle off a few business buzzwords like “long-term strategy,” “how to build better teams,” “scaling my company for more growth,” or “how to expand to international markets.”
To my surprise, she answered, “Helping them develop positive personal and professional relationships.” It was clear that while these CEOs are savvy in business matters, their personal and professional relationships needed work.
I believe our personal and professional relationships feed off each other. For the most part, if our personal relationships are unhappy, toxic, or unhealthy, so are our professional relationships, which affects our work performance. I recall an interview I saw where Tony Dungy, the former head coach of the Indianapolis Colts, mentioned that he always wanted to know about the quality of his players’ relationships (outside of football).
He knew their relationships with their spouses, significant others, kids, parents, and friends influenced the way they interacted with their teammates and performed on the field because he understood that they’re profoundly interconnected.
Why Your Relationships Matter More Than You Think
If you want to excel at work and in life, it all starts with taking inventory of your current relationships. My favorite relationship expert, Esther Perel, states: “The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.” At our core, we know our relationships are what matter most. They affect the entire direction of our lives.
Take the Grant Study, which followed a group of Harvard-educated men who were well-accomplished, financially independent, and socially connected throughout their lifespan. At the end of their life, researchers asked the men: “What makes for a good life?” Their answer? A resounding “RELATIONSHIPS!”
CEOs have a responsibility to model healthy relationships both personally and professionally because leadership isn’t just about strategy it’s about people. While some may argue that work and personal life should remain separate, the reality is that employees observe how their leaders communicate, collaborate, and build personal and professional relationships.
A leader who fosters trust, respect, and open communication sets the tone for a positive workplace culture. When CEOs prioritize meaningful connections, they create an environment where employees feel valued, engaged, and motivated to do their best work.
Why You Should Make Friends at Work
Gallup research indicates that having a best friend at work increases employee productivity, engagement, and retention. Considering the fact that we spend around one-third of our lives at work, it makes sense! When you foster meaningful connections at work, it improves your experience and creates positive emotions which boost creativity and work performance. If you’re a manager wanting better engagement from employees, it’s in your best interest to create a culture where they can easily develop close friendships.
Secondly, having a friend at work leads to what positive organizational behavior researchers call “high-quality connections,” which are defined by three traits:
1. The ability to express and manage our emotions
Employees feel comfortable exposing their true emotions and being vulnerable.
2. The ability to bounce back from setbacks
Misunderstandings and hurt feelings are inevitable in relationships — but cultivating resilience can lead to greater connections.
3. The ability to share information back and forth.
When employees have connections with their colleagues, they feel safe to take creative risks, present new ideas, and go with the flow.
It’s clear: High-quality connections create better organizational outcomes.
Conclusion
Take a moment to reflect—are your relationships helping you grow, or are they draining your energy? Strong connections built on trust and open communication are essential, not just for personal happiness but for professional success as well. Research shows that when people feel supported in their relationships, they collaborate better, communicate more effectively, and navigate challenges with greater ease. Prioritizing relationship-building isn’t just a “soft skill”; it’s a key driver of resilience, productivity, and overall well-being. When you invest in meaningful connections, you create a foundation for both personal fulfillment and long-term career success.
